Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Another Year

As I sit here, contemplating yet another year, I am going to ask for some creative license here, for a time of ranting and raving. If you don’t want to hear it, please sign off of the blog now, because today I am going to make it about me - guess I am entitled to do that because after all it is MY birthday.
Once again, I am reminded about life is all about - or maybe not all about, but we place entirely to much importance on it. I have been on this earth 43 years - and today am feeling very much that of a failure in many aspects of my life. Why is it that nothing seems to be going the way I had hoped and dreamed it would be? I am trusting God to continue to show me the areas in my life that I need to work on - as HE makes me into all HE has for me.
The one thing that I am really noticing a lot is that of “religious hypocrisy” and I don’t want that to be the moniker of my life. Why is it, that so many “religious” people are out there shoving their religion down other people’s throat. Please note that I am using the word “religious/religion” rather than Christian. In doing this, I am making a conscious decision to include lots of different nationalities/religions.
My faith is very important to me, but does that give me the right to beat someone else up with it? Does that give me permission to always shove it down your throat? I am surprised how many people think that they have the moral necessity to do these things. We have people blowing up others, because of their faith. Maybe I am becoming to critical of “religion” as a whole - I don’t know. I don’t care what faith you might be - but I would hope that your faith beckons you into a deeper walk with God (or your higher power) and in doing this, it challenges you to be a better person. To walk in such a way - that at the end of the day - you know that God is pleased with you, that you have made the world a little better place just by being in it.
The last 6 months have been extremely hard for me. I have had to examine a lot of things in my life, in light of my faith. The scripture of removing the speck out of my neighbor’s eye while having a log in mine, really has taken on a new meaning. It seems like I have been “beaten up” with scriptures over a “lack of good judgment because I loved someone” - but yet no matter what I do - it doesn’t get better. Supposedly I have been “forgiven” but yet the stupidity of the situation goes on. I guess that they feel they have the right to stand in judgment of me, while not looking in the mirror to see what things they have done wrong in this situation. They expect everyone to walk in grace with them, but yet are unwilling to extend even just a fraction of that grace to someone else.
As I step into this next year - I want my faith to become the most important thing to me - but not to use as a tool to beat others up - but as a way to be beneficial to those around me. I want people to be able to see that there is something truly different about me, something that spurs them on to being a better person - helping those around. I want to know that I have made people smile - cheered someone up - encouraged someone to not give up - and all of that will only be able if I allow my faith to make a difference in my life.
Even if nothing else in my life comes together in this next year, in the way that I hope it does, I pray that God will continue to show me the ways, in my life, that I can give up my “religion” and move on to a deeper faith. A walk that would help me make my world a better place, and not another thing to make people say - “If that is what Christianity is all about, I want nothing to do with it.”