I am going through a rough time right now, and have really had some deep discussions with God. I was talking with a friend the other night, who is also going through a really rough time. One thing that she said to me was "it's sad that you are fighting harder for a friendship, than I am willing to fight for my marriage."
I have to admit that her statement hit me really hard. I found myself asking the questions: Are my expectations for this friendship unreal? When is the appropriate time to let it all go? When do I walk away and not look back? Am I trying to force an issue with God, that He is asking me to let go of? Is this unhealthy - to keep fighting for this?
I really really struggled with this for several days, and just asked God to show me something that would give me guidance in the way that I needed to proceed. I stopped all communication, and just sought God's guidance. During this time, He showed me how I had to walk in forgiveness, and forgetfulness. This is really hard for me, but He showed me that in my own strength, it wasn't possible, but with His help nothing is impossible. I had to learn to walk in Love, His Love, and not my humanness.
I thought this was going to be the answer, but it still didn't help the struggle in my heart over the questions that I stated in the first paragraph. Then one morning, I awoke with a scripture on my heart, and that same scripture was in my devotions, and a friend called and said, I really feel like God wants me to share this scripture with you - and it was the same one: 2 Peter 3:9.
Basically it states that God is willing that none perish. He basically stated again to me, that the investments were for the Kingdom, and He is not willing that it perish. And if I am made in the image and the likeness of God, having the mind of Christ - because of His righteousness, and not of my own self - I have to have that same mindset, and be willing to hang on, and not let go of, all that God has done in this area and with this person.
Now I get to deal with all the implications of trying to be Christlike in this area - and as I struggle with my humanness in this area,I will do the best that I can to do what God has called me to do, with this relationship in my life. As I step forward in this area, my heart is burdened for my friend and her marriage. Lord, in this area, I am sure, that You are willing that NONE perish, even this one. Guide me in my words and actions - to do all that I can, and in my mindset - hold on to the scripture that states that You are willing that NONE perish. Thank you for Your guidance.
Walking with the King, Sandy
