Life Update

Oh Where do I start.  LOL

This post is going to create a lot of unknown for me.  It is going to create a reason for some people to walk away from me, but I think that it will also open the door for open dialogue, as to who Sandy truly is.

2012, yes, 8 years ago, life was crazy.  My family life was a shambles, and in ways, I was barely hanging on.  Little did I know that God was getting ready to turn my world upside down, in so many ways. I was walking a road, with one of my kids, Lisa, a recent widow.  Her husband, Gess, had lost his battle with Cystic Fibrosis, in November of 2010  In April of 2011 Lisa was diagnosed
with Breast Cancer.  My life, as I knew it, was going to get crazy.  I was working full time, and going between Seattle and Yakima, several times a week.  My life was full, I honestly wasn't looking
 for anything else at the time, but God had other plans.


In May of 2012, I met this amazing Woman.  Yes, I said woman.  She rocked my world, all the while not even knowing I existed.  I was drawn, like a moth to a flame.  She was a single mom of 4, hardworking, and just overall amazing.  She was one of the managers, in the RV park, where I lived.  My crazy hours, would take me in the office at odd hours, picking up mail, paying my bills, using the internet, etc.  All the time, usually her smiling face was there.  (Later she admitted she was a little enamoured by the woman in scrubs.)  Please note, this was NOT my female relationship.  I just did a really good job, of keeping it quiet, as I knew what my parents and family's feelings were towards gay people.  We had some good friends as I was growing up and they had a gay son.  He was murdered, for being gay, and my parents were very vocal that that was God's punishment for him being  gay.  All gay people were horrible sinners, and deserved to die horrific painful deaths.  This was one of the main reasons, I never came out, even though I had some inklings while I was in high school.  I always equated  those desires to the trauma, I endured  in the various forms of sexual abuse I had suffered from a young age, thru my teenage years.

Over the next few months, I got to know her, and the kids. As the cancer continued to ravage Lisa's body the inevidable was sinking into my brain.  I think Stephanie realized what was going on, and she rallied around me, and with the kids made my time at home fun. We filled the days with ice cream and trips to the park, swimming in the pool and picnics and bbq's.  Lisa lost her battle with cancer August 1st, 2012.  My heart had a hole, but God had already given me the pieces to fill it back up.  I had told Lisa about Stephanie, and she was happy, as she asked several times who would take care of me, after I had taken such good care of her.  She reminded me that I deserved to be happy and know what it was like to be in a loving relationship.  My last few days with Lisa, were spent in quiet contemplation of all that was going on inside me.  Lisa found peace, and was ready to go home and be with Gess.  I was ready to go home and be with Steph and the Kids.  Yes, I was slowly falling in love with Steph and the family.  I had  been blessed with an amazing dad, who many years earlier had fallen in love with a woman with children.  He and my mom married, and he raised us as his own.  Steph and the kids, were a package deal.  I wasn't going to get one without the other, nor did I want that.  I knew God had brought them into my life for a HUGE purpose.  As Steph and I started dating, I struggled with all the emotion inside.  I knew that God wasn't going to bring her into my life, to say "Nope sorry".  I sought out pastors and professors, of many religious organizations, asking specific questions.  I bought a Hebrew/Greek Bible, so I could look up many scriptures, so I could figure out what God was saying, vs Man's interpretation.  On my 2nd trip to Israel,  I had the privelege to talk with an amazing theologian.  After that trip, it was clear in my head and heart, that I would NOT go to hell for falling in love.  In December of 2012, we officially became a family.

Life has been crazy, but Steph and I agreed, when we decided to go forward as a family, It would be thru the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.  And believe you me, the enemy has tried us.  But we are still here, 8 years later.  Life has taken us to Missouri currently, and we are trusting God to show us where we will go in the next phase of life.  We have 2 still at home, and so will probably be in Missouri until they graduate from High School, but that is in God's hands.

So that is where we are.  Now that I have brought everyone up to date as to what life is like, I can start writing my blog again.  Come on this journey with me, let's see where life leads us.