Happy Valentines Day!!!!
As I sit here on the 42nd Valentines Day of my life, with no prospects in sight, I am reminded of the song "the whole world is in love when you are lonely".
I never, in my worst dreams, would have thought that I would be 42 and single. The thing that surprises me though is that it isn't all that bad. Granted, I have no one to take care of me when I'm sick, or when I have to attend 4 funerals in 8 days, I wish that there was someone to hold my hand and let me cry. But as I watch those that I love being so hurt, it reminds me that at least I don't have to deal with infidelity and divorce. As I watch children struggle with the side effects of divorce and irresponsibility, at least I know that I haven't contributed to the pain of my children.
I have to laugh because I was dared to place an ad on craigslist - and I did it. The people that are out there are so so scary. After quickly weeding out the "visit my website" and the wierdos, there was 1 reply that actually had what I felt was potential. For the next couple of days we e-mailed, and then started instant messaging. After a week, he wanted to call me - and you know, I wa okay with that. So we talked daily for the next 4 days. Then I recieve an e-mail from him calling me a chicken, and accusing me being scared of committment. After doing some praying I responded to his e-mail, asking him what he was implying. I actually asked him if he was thinking about marriage after only 2 weeks of talking. He lived 9 hours from me, so we had never met. It is amazing how when I asked him that question, and asked him how much he had prayed about our friendship, I never heard from him again. I guess now I can understand why at 42 he has been married 4 times and has 7 children.
Why is it that there are so many "Christian" men out there, but when the rubber meets the road, they are actually like everyone else. Are there no men who truly love Jesus with all their heart and want a relationship based on Christian and biblical values? I guess until God brings that person into my life, I will cry alone at funerals, and continue to make my own chicken soup. I'm just glad that Christ continues to remind me that even though I might get lonely at times, I am never alone.