Saturday, May 29, 2010

The invitation

The Invitation
It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for,
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream,
for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon.
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow,
if you have been opened by life's betrayals
or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain!
I want to know if you can sit with pain,
mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own,
if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic,
to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true.
I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul;
if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,
and if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”
It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.
I got this "writing" from a friend and it has really made me stop and think about what we look for in friendship, and what is most important. I wrote a few weeks ago about fighting for a friendship and my friend who is deciding what to do with her marriage. As she and I sat and talked last night, she told me that she was done, thru, and that she was okay with that. As she shared, the one thing that she said was "I'm loosing me - I worked so hard to become someone I liked, and I don't want to lose me." As she shared more of the gory details, I wanted to insert my opinion, but instead I just listened - and by the time she was done, I had to agree, that it probably is best that they split, at least for now - because the kids don't need to be raised in an environment of constant fighting.
When I got home, I thought of this poem and had to read it again. It has made me think about me, and do I fit into this 'mold', and it made me think of others that are in my life, and are they toxic relationships, or ones that really bring out the best in who I am and who God has called me to be. Didn't sleep much last night, because soul searching, has a tendancy to do that. Sat at the computer this morning at about 2am - and the words just didn't blend - but now my fingers are dancing on the keys, as my brain is over-riding the emotions.
This "invitation" is important to me for several reasons. It gives me something to "shoot for" as I realize the importance of the words. Is this the kind of person that I am, I'm not there yet, but I can say that I think I am well on the road to being the person that God is calling me to be - one that likes themselves, and doesn't loose themselves to be someone else, just to have a friend. I am learning I can be honest about myself and "take off the mask" and if people don't accept me for who I am - that is their loss. It also gives me a yardstick to measure by. What kind of people do I surround myself with, healthy ones, or toxic ones? Now please don't think that people that are going thru a rough time, are toxic people - usually they are the most healthy ones, because they are actually able to be honest with themselves. Then there are some people, they seem to really have their "stuff" together, and they are as unhealthy and toxic as they can be, but don't see it. Bob Marley is quoted as saying, "Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." With God's help, I am starting to weed out those people in my life that aren't worth suffering for - thus "toxic" people. Those that drain me, never giving back, those who are "takers and users", thinking of themselves. I want to surround myself with people who are "true" friends, in the good the bad and the ugly - those that push me to be all that God wants me to be, as I encourage them to do the same.
Lord, help me to be the person that You want me to be - knowing that You judge me from the inside out. Help me to remember that, when dealing with people - that they are important to You, for their Soul value, and nothing else. Remind me how to be a light, in the midst of struggles and pain, to my world. In the quietness of the moments - calm my spirit, and remind me of Your never failing love, and Your ever present Spirit. And too, for those of my friends, who are struggling right now, give them an extra dose of Your Love and Mercy and Grace.
In Jesus Name - Amen.
Just a few of my thoughts this Sunday morning.
Walking with the King, Sandy

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