Today has been a day that has seemed to put life into perspective once again for me. What is life about? What is it in life that we should find happiness in? If it was our last day - how would we spend it? I know these questions are deep, but I guess it makes me wonder - How do I live my life.
I lost 2 of my hospice patients today - and it is really interesting how they seem to affect me lately. I guess maybe I am at a point in life, that I am questioning if this is what I want to do with my remaining days. When is it that I decide that instead of me taking care of everyone else, maybe I need to start doing more to take care of me. I know that I have been gifted to do what I do, I'm told that so often, but maybe after 20+ years, it is time to think about a different avenue or even career.
Maybe my feelings today have a lot to do with my "Mt Moriah" experience right now and the fact that I keep being reminded to invest in everything, attach to nothing. It is scary because things that were important to me 6 months ago, aren't as important as they are right now, things important to me 3 months ago, aren't as important, yet all the while other things seem to be moving to the forefront as to what I need to be investing my time and energy in.
All I know is this, on that final day for me, I don't want to look at my days and have regrets, I want to make sure that my days are spent much like my 'mantra' is - Living life with no regrets. My life scripture is Jeremiah 29:11 (Amplified) "For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome." But as I have started to live "life" as much as I love my life verse, I have found another one these past few months, Isaiah 32:18 - (Amplified) "My people shall dwell in a peaceable habitation, in safe dwellings, and in quiet resting places." I am thankful for the scriptures that give me assurance of peaceable habitations, safe dwellings and quiet resting places.
My 2 hospice patients that passed away today - lived opposite ends of the spectrum and unfortunately only one of them died with quiet resting places. Such a waste of life to spend all your life working hard, only to have death be hard also, with no hope of the future.
Lord, let me live my life knowing that Your hope and future for me, are more important than getting my own way - and may I find those places of peaceable habitations, safe dwellings and quiet resting places, as I continue to find my way those this maze of life.
Just a few thoughts as I am
Walking with the King,